Mental and emotional changes

I'm not sure if it was the weight loss that caused my mind to think more clearly (gosh that sounds so new age'y) or if the weight loss was the catalyst that I needed to give me the permission to change....not really change but IMPROVE.

It really doesn't matter.  The point is, I have changed my Stinkin' Thinkin'.  And have made a conscience effort to analyze my patterns and look at those that have been negative, and damaging, and unproductive.  I have also examined my relationships as well.  Here's what I found.

I have had a horrible self-image for a very long time.  A lot of that comes from many, many years of having individuals in my life who are filled with negative remarks about me.  But my part in all of this is the accepting of their unkind comments and judgements.  I fully accepted this as gospel truth.

Furthermore, I have put way to much effort into maintaining relationships with "friends" and associates who are happy to be kind and supportive to me when everything is great and they need my help.  But as soon as I have any challenge or struggle, they have distanced themselves and been downright unkind. 

The question that I had to ask was, "why am I trying to maintain relationships with people who like me so Conditionally".  Love should be UNconditional.  It is not healthy for me to put so much effort into receiving votes of approval. 

I've realized that I am who I am.  That is how God made me.  Now that said, accepting mediocrity in oneself is never good either.  But the motivation to IMPROVE needs to come from within.  I've learned that looking for acceptance and approval from outside of myself and needing that approval to feel good about myself is destructive and counterproductive.

Realizing this, I knew that I needed to question and analyze why I am putting so much effort and stress into maintaining such tenuous relationships with people who view me as a marginal friend.

It has been a very good and helpful cleansing of my life.  It has been very helpful and healthy to ask myself why I seek approval from others, especially those that I don't really like, or have treated me in an unkind way.

I have to say, I feel much, much better.  I am more at peace and my self-image has improved considerably.  Also through this, I have learned who the people are that genuinely love me for who I am, warts and all.

Much more to share soon.

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Mike

ONE YEAR !!! Please subscribe as a gift to me :-)

It's been one year since I started the 30 day broth fast and so much has changed in my life.  Really.

It is so difficult to know where to start.

Yes I have lost weight and continued to do so with no effort.  I know, that sounds like some infomercial on TV but it really is true.  As you may remember, I lost 30 pounds in 60 days, but after 4 months of just eating properly, I was convinced that I must have gained some weight.  After all, don't most people just gain it back? At that 4 month weigh-in, I found out that I didn't gain weight but instead I found that I lost 10 more. And now that it has been one full year, I have kept it off with little effort.

I started to be more active too.  Wait, not like "I better start exercising" but more like, "I feel good and I want to go out and do something".  I find myself bounding up flights of stairs and I took a job as a waiter which keeps me running for a few hours every day.  I lift plates, which of course aren't really that heavy, but it has increased my strength and my physique.  My wife notices and truthfully I notice as well when I look in the mirror.  I used to dread taking off my shirt but now I'm kind of proud of how I look.  I don't know if I have ever been this fit... at least not for the last 25 years, perhaps more.

But that is only part of the changes that I have seen.  There has been huge changes in my mental persona.  More on that in the next posting.....