Blow's my mind: 20,000
I never imagined that so many people would read this. 20 grand, dang, that's pretty cool. Of course, I don't know how many people revisit this blog and actually read each post like a story and how many read it once and then not again. But for those of you who actually read along....thanks! That's pretty cool of you. :-)
But the 45 pounds part still seems a bit unreal. The part that is hard to wrap my mind around is that I was actually THAT big. I found a pic from August just before I started the broth fast. Pretty shocking that I was actually that big. Thank God that I didn't die. That was just so crazy unhealthy. I remember having difficulty catching my breath at times and now, that is completely gone.
As you may know, I work as a waiter now. I walk...a lot. I walk briskly through our good sized restaurant, non-stop, for about 4-6 hours everyday that I work. That would have been impossible before. Actually, taking the job at the restaurant was a great decision. It keeps me fit and has increased my strength. My arms have gained more muscle that they ever had. Now to be honest, that's not saying too much. :-) My sweet, darling wife tells me that she likes how I look. It's very nice to hear from your loved one that you look physically attractive. Yesterday, I worked from 11;30 until 6:00 and never stopped for more than a few moments. I'd stop walking long enough to enter an order on the computer screen at work, and then off I go to some table or back to the kitchen. After work I wasn't done for the day physically. And I found myself a bit disappointed that my bride and I didn't just walk over to our friends' house for a dinner party a few blocks over.
The point is: After losing the weight, I have a new, restarted life. Do you need a fresh start? "Do you need a fresh start?" That's a good title for a blog post. What do you think?
Hey!! Drop me a note to say hi. Ask me anything that you want.
NEW?? try starting at the first post. It's fun, kind of like reading a book
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Change is good, improvement is better -- or --- Why I keep changing my iPhone apps
Change is a good thing....sometimes. What I have been looking for is a change in health but that importantly includes mental health. But change is not always as positive or lasting as we might hope.
My focus has been on improvement, not just random change. How can I improve? What is it that I can do better? I find myself asking these questions of myself on a daily basis...more than on a daily basis. My goal is improvement. Not by someone else's standards but my own.
I used to be pretty darn grouchy, often. Although there are probably multiple reasons for this, all of this grouchiness stemmed from a poor self-image.
Poor self-image is probably to most dangerous and destructive part of my life. I don't think that I ever had a solid understanding of who I really was as a person. The big reason was that I was trying to constantly seek approval from others, feeling that If I am receiving their approval, I would have evidence that I was actually a good person. Looking for approval from the outside rather than from within. By the way, that doesn't work. Believe me. It really doesn't work. I had to change this.
So with a measured process in place, I began the changes that when focused in the right direction, leads to improvement. My negative thinking about myself and consequently everybody else had to change. My fear of rejection had to change. My fear of "getting in trouble" had to change. My fear of making mistakes had to change. The self-loathing had to change. My constant feelings of misery and impending doom had to change. All of this has one thing in common. Negative thinking.
So although I didn't want to see change unfocused, lacking direction, I knew that if I kept thinking as I was thinking, I would keep getting what I had been getting. We all need to consider this. But for me, I needed to make changes, and almost any change at all was acceptable. Random and radical change would change from those ingrained patterns of disapproval. So changes I made.
I have very intentionally changed my thinking in a lot of areas of my life. Brain research tells us that we develop ruts in the way we mentally process things. So to avoid thinking the same way, I needed to stop thinking the same way. To change that, I would be very careful to not go down the same mental paths that lead to a broken Mike. I had to change it up. I changed the way I did lots of things. I drink room temperature water as opposed to having ice. I switched from darker beers to lighter beers. I switched from KFC to kale. I take as different a path as I can to get from point A to point B. I would intentionally rearrange my apps on my iphone, forcing my brain to go and look for the app and not just go to it without thinking.
This is change but the goal is improvement. At least now the vehicle, so to speak, is moving in a different direction which makes it a whole lot easier to steer as I go down the road to life.
Special thanks to Melissa in China for following this blog. Thank you for your kind comments.
IMPROVE!!
My focus has been on improvement, not just random change. How can I improve? What is it that I can do better? I find myself asking these questions of myself on a daily basis...more than on a daily basis. My goal is improvement. Not by someone else's standards but my own.
I used to be pretty darn grouchy, often. Although there are probably multiple reasons for this, all of this grouchiness stemmed from a poor self-image.
Poor self-image is probably to most dangerous and destructive part of my life. I don't think that I ever had a solid understanding of who I really was as a person. The big reason was that I was trying to constantly seek approval from others, feeling that If I am receiving their approval, I would have evidence that I was actually a good person. Looking for approval from the outside rather than from within. By the way, that doesn't work. Believe me. It really doesn't work. I had to change this.
So with a measured process in place, I began the changes that when focused in the right direction, leads to improvement. My negative thinking about myself and consequently everybody else had to change. My fear of rejection had to change. My fear of "getting in trouble" had to change. My fear of making mistakes had to change. The self-loathing had to change. My constant feelings of misery and impending doom had to change. All of this has one thing in common. Negative thinking.
So although I didn't want to see change unfocused, lacking direction, I knew that if I kept thinking as I was thinking, I would keep getting what I had been getting. We all need to consider this. But for me, I needed to make changes, and almost any change at all was acceptable. Random and radical change would change from those ingrained patterns of disapproval. So changes I made.
I have very intentionally changed my thinking in a lot of areas of my life. Brain research tells us that we develop ruts in the way we mentally process things. So to avoid thinking the same way, I needed to stop thinking the same way. To change that, I would be very careful to not go down the same mental paths that lead to a broken Mike. I had to change it up. I changed the way I did lots of things. I drink room temperature water as opposed to having ice. I switched from darker beers to lighter beers. I switched from KFC to kale. I take as different a path as I can to get from point A to point B. I would intentionally rearrange my apps on my iphone, forcing my brain to go and look for the app and not just go to it without thinking.
This is change but the goal is improvement. At least now the vehicle, so to speak, is moving in a different direction which makes it a whole lot easier to steer as I go down the road to life.
Special thanks to Melissa in China for following this blog. Thank you for your kind comments.
IMPROVE!!
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Mental and emotional changes
I'm not sure if it was the weight loss that caused my mind to think more clearly (gosh that sounds so new age'y) or if the weight loss was the catalyst that I needed to give me the permission to change....not really change but IMPROVE.
It really doesn't matter. The point is, I have changed my Stinkin' Thinkin'. And have made a conscience effort to analyze my patterns and look at those that have been negative, and damaging, and unproductive. I have also examined my relationships as well. Here's what I found.
I have had a horrible self-image for a very long time. A lot of that comes from many, many years of having individuals in my life who are filled with negative remarks about me. But my part in all of this is the accepting of their unkind comments and judgements. I fully accepted this as gospel truth.
Furthermore, I have put way to much effort into maintaining relationships with "friends" and associates who are happy to be kind and supportive to me when everything is great and they need my help. But as soon as I have any challenge or struggle, they have distanced themselves and been downright unkind.
The question that I had to ask was, "why am I trying to maintain relationships with people who like me so Conditionally". Love should be UNconditional. It is not healthy for me to put so much effort into receiving votes of approval.
I've realized that I am who I am. That is how God made me. Now that said, accepting mediocrity in oneself is never good either. But the motivation to IMPROVE needs to come from within. I've learned that looking for acceptance and approval from outside of myself and needing that approval to feel good about myself is destructive and counterproductive.
Realizing this, I knew that I needed to question and analyze why I am putting so much effort and stress into maintaining such tenuous relationships with people who view me as a marginal friend.
It has been a very good and helpful cleansing of my life. It has been very helpful and healthy to ask myself why I seek approval from others, especially those that I don't really like, or have treated me in an unkind way.
I have to say, I feel much, much better. I am more at peace and my self-image has improved considerably. Also through this, I have learned who the people are that genuinely love me for who I am, warts and all.
Much more to share soon.
Please subscribe if possible. It is helpful to know that someone is actually reading and following this.
Mike
It really doesn't matter. The point is, I have changed my Stinkin' Thinkin'. And have made a conscience effort to analyze my patterns and look at those that have been negative, and damaging, and unproductive. I have also examined my relationships as well. Here's what I found.
I have had a horrible self-image for a very long time. A lot of that comes from many, many years of having individuals in my life who are filled with negative remarks about me. But my part in all of this is the accepting of their unkind comments and judgements. I fully accepted this as gospel truth.
Furthermore, I have put way to much effort into maintaining relationships with "friends" and associates who are happy to be kind and supportive to me when everything is great and they need my help. But as soon as I have any challenge or struggle, they have distanced themselves and been downright unkind.
The question that I had to ask was, "why am I trying to maintain relationships with people who like me so Conditionally". Love should be UNconditional. It is not healthy for me to put so much effort into receiving votes of approval.
I've realized that I am who I am. That is how God made me. Now that said, accepting mediocrity in oneself is never good either. But the motivation to IMPROVE needs to come from within. I've learned that looking for acceptance and approval from outside of myself and needing that approval to feel good about myself is destructive and counterproductive.
Realizing this, I knew that I needed to question and analyze why I am putting so much effort and stress into maintaining such tenuous relationships with people who view me as a marginal friend.
It has been a very good and helpful cleansing of my life. It has been very helpful and healthy to ask myself why I seek approval from others, especially those that I don't really like, or have treated me in an unkind way.
I have to say, I feel much, much better. I am more at peace and my self-image has improved considerably. Also through this, I have learned who the people are that genuinely love me for who I am, warts and all.
Much more to share soon.
Please subscribe if possible. It is helpful to know that someone is actually reading and following this.
Mike
ONE YEAR !!! Please subscribe as a gift to me :-)
It's been one year since I started the 30 day broth fast and so much has changed in my life. Really.
It is so difficult to know where to start.
Yes I have lost weight and continued to do so with no effort. I know, that sounds like some infomercial on TV but it really is true. As you may remember, I lost 30 pounds in 60 days, but after 4 months of just eating properly, I was convinced that I must have gained some weight. After all, don't most people just gain it back? At that 4 month weigh-in, I found out that I didn't gain weight but instead I found that I lost 10 more. And now that it has been one full year, I have kept it off with little effort.
I started to be more active too. Wait, not like "I better start exercising" but more like, "I feel good and I want to go out and do something". I find myself bounding up flights of stairs and I took a job as a waiter which keeps me running for a few hours every day. I lift plates, which of course aren't really that heavy, but it has increased my strength and my physique. My wife notices and truthfully I notice as well when I look in the mirror. I used to dread taking off my shirt but now I'm kind of proud of how I look. I don't know if I have ever been this fit... at least not for the last 25 years, perhaps more.
But that is only part of the changes that I have seen. There has been huge changes in my mental persona. More on that in the next posting.....
It is so difficult to know where to start.
Yes I have lost weight and continued to do so with no effort. I know, that sounds like some infomercial on TV but it really is true. As you may remember, I lost 30 pounds in 60 days, but after 4 months of just eating properly, I was convinced that I must have gained some weight. After all, don't most people just gain it back? At that 4 month weigh-in, I found out that I didn't gain weight but instead I found that I lost 10 more. And now that it has been one full year, I have kept it off with little effort.
I started to be more active too. Wait, not like "I better start exercising" but more like, "I feel good and I want to go out and do something". I find myself bounding up flights of stairs and I took a job as a waiter which keeps me running for a few hours every day. I lift plates, which of course aren't really that heavy, but it has increased my strength and my physique. My wife notices and truthfully I notice as well when I look in the mirror. I used to dread taking off my shirt but now I'm kind of proud of how I look. I don't know if I have ever been this fit... at least not for the last 25 years, perhaps more.
But that is only part of the changes that I have seen. There has been huge changes in my mental persona. More on that in the next posting.....
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