I'm not sure if it was the weight loss that caused my mind to think more clearly (gosh that sounds so new age'y) or if the weight loss was the catalyst that I needed to give me the permission to change....not really change but IMPROVE.
It really doesn't matter. The point is, I have changed my Stinkin' Thinkin'. And have made a conscience effort to analyze my patterns and look at those that have been negative, and damaging, and unproductive. I have also examined my relationships as well. Here's what I found.
I have had a horrible self-image for a very long time. A lot of that comes from many, many years of having individuals in my life who are filled with negative remarks about me. But my part in all of this is the accepting of their unkind comments and judgements. I fully accepted this as gospel truth.
Furthermore, I have put way to much effort into maintaining relationships with "friends" and associates who are happy to be kind and supportive to me when everything is great and they need my help. But as soon as I have any challenge or struggle, they have distanced themselves and been downright unkind.
The question that I had to ask was, "why am I trying to maintain relationships with people who like me so Conditionally". Love should be UNconditional. It is not healthy for me to put so much effort into receiving votes of approval.
I've realized that I am who I am. That is how God made me. Now that said, accepting mediocrity in oneself is never good either. But the motivation to IMPROVE needs to come from within. I've learned that looking for acceptance and approval from outside of myself and needing that approval to feel good about myself is destructive and counterproductive.
Realizing this, I knew that I needed to question and analyze why I am putting so much effort and stress into maintaining such tenuous relationships with people who view me as a marginal friend.
It has been a very good and helpful cleansing of my life. It has been very helpful and healthy to ask myself why I seek approval from others, especially those that I don't really like, or have treated me in an unkind way.
I have to say, I feel much, much better. I am more at peace and my self-image has improved considerably. Also through this, I have learned who the people are that genuinely love me for who I am, warts and all.
Much more to share soon.
Please subscribe if possible. It is helpful to know that someone is actually reading and following this.
Mike
Hi Mike, just wanted to let you know I was reading, and I'm encouraged by how you feel you are making progress in the way you are thinking! That is something I struggle with too.
ReplyDeleteI did try to subscribe, but had problems, because I don't have google+ and maybe I am just not finding the right way to subscribe. But anyway, just wanted to let you know I am reading.
Hi Melissa,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your note!!! What keeps coming to mind is something that I say to my son David. If you keep doing what you're doing and you keep getting what you've been getting. Change takes effort but as we learned in science class: an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest tends to stay at rest....Unless there is force that acts on the object. That force, we control. We move in a different direction, take a different path, this creates momentum and make for noticeable improvement. I believe that although we do want change, what we really mean is not that we want change but rather that we want improvement.
Thanks for reading and best wishes to you in China.
I'm reading, too, although I don't know how to subscribe! I have followed your story for a whole and often wondered about some of the specifics. Do you just make random soup recipes and drain the veggies? Do you have some go-to break recipes? Are you supplementing anything? I would love to start a fast but want to be responsible about it! Thanks for your great blog! Congrats!
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